Adoption Awareness

"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"
Author: Fleur Conkling Heylinger

November is Adoption Awareness Month. This is a huge deal to me since not only am I adopted, but I also hope to adopt one day.

My story:

I was left on a doorstep of a police station when I was a couple weeks old, maybe even a month. With me was a basic note stating my birthday and that my mother couldn't care for me (quite possibly even that she was too young to care for me, I can't be fore sure).

I was put into an orphanage, where, I was tied to my crib who I shared with other babies. At 17 months, I was moved to a foster home where I got one on one time, and, was in dire need of it. I could only sit on my own. I couldn't crawl, I couldn't walk. Couldn't do much, due to the overcrowded orphange I was in.

Now, most of you know, my little Kaleigh is 17 months. To think of all she can do, and try to imagine her not being able to do much past about 6-9 months freaks me out!

Luckily, I was a quick learner, and in the month or so I was at the foster home, I had caught up to my age developmentally.

I was adoped on June 30th. I was 18 months, 3 days.

Being adopted definitely caused some issues back in the day. I wondered why I was different, but my parents did a really good job explaining to me and always treating me the same as their biological children. I was even sent to an Adoption Camp, where I got to meet other Korean children who were adopted.

Do I ever wonder about my birth mother? Sort of. I don't need another Mom in my life. My "mom" will always be the Mom who raised me. The mom who taught me all of my values, who kissed my scrapes when I fell, who held me everytime I threw a tantrum. That's my mom. Part of me does, however, wonder about my birth mother. Not necessarily about her specifically, but I'd love to find out genetics, family history, and, most of all, just to thank her. Thank her for giving me life, for leaving me where she did, and not doing anything different, because, let's face it, the other choices aren't pretty.

I know if I had a baby and had to give her up, not a day would go by without me thinking about her. Wondering if she found a happy family, worrying I did the right thing by giving her up, etc.

Honestly, though, if I had to choose, I don't know if I'd actually meet my birth mom. Makes me feel like a total chicken shit, right? I'm not one for awkward situations and I feel like it would be mighty awkward for me....

To sum it up: I hope that everyone remembers what it is to adopt. It's giving life to a child. An adopted child isn't any less of a human being, and I hope that if any of you out there can't have anymore children naturally that you would consider it.

I'm adopted, and look how I turned out! ;)

Makin' A List.. Checkin' it Twice...

Last night started out like any other night in bed. The sound of soft snores escaping my husband's mouth, Kaleigh's steady breathing, and the low buzz of the TV provided my brain with much solace and just like that, I realized:

IT IS NOVEMBER!!!!!

I probably should've realized this, you know, on November 1st, but I have been so pre-occupied with playing single Mom that my entire body just shuts down at night lately. That being said, the good news is that my husband actually took an entire day off Sunday! The first in .... who knows how long. It was so great to have him around. Not only for my sake, but for Kaleigh's. She was all about Daddy, which, gave Mommy a semi-break, but also provided her with some much needed reassurance that yes, Daddy is still around, and will continue to be. It's not easy when your 16 month old randomly calls out for "Da Da" and having to explain that he's working. Again. Poor girl.

So, laying in bed last night, I jolted upright from laying down in the realization that it's a week into November, which means quite a few things for me/us.

The first thing that infested my head is all of the 1,000,000 things I need to get done. Which million things you ask? Let's see if I can narrow this down for you, otherwise, this blog post will be an epic portion of crap you don't want to read.

1) November means Thanksgiving. Where are we spending ours? No idea. We need to figure that out.

2) Maui - most of the 1,00,000 things I need to get done probably reciprocate around this.

2a) Packing - pulling out, choosing the clothing, and washing our summer clothing for myself, my husband, and my child. Needing to try some things on Kaleigh as she's grown since summer time... wonder if a good majority of her stuff still fits? Hope so... Which toys to bring. Buying little "prizes" for her to get while we're on the plane (most likely from the Dollar store or the dollar bins at Target). Should we bring her little portable potty seat? Where are our suitcases?

2b) Need to get the dogs in for their Bordatella vaccines so the kennel doesn't deny them the night before we're supposed to leave....

2c) Need to call the airlines to find out about their little media centers you can rent or just break down and possibly buy a portable DVD player. I wonder if I can find one cheaper at a pawn shop or if someone has one I can borrow? Maybe Craigslist?

3) My niece's birthday - of couse, is on 11/23. She will be 4. I already bought her presents, but need wrapping paper for them, or a gift bag. Must go buy soon.

4) Christmas - need to get more shopping done. Originally, my goal was to have all of my shopping done before we left. That quickly went out the window, as it's November 7th (technically November 8th now), and I don't even have half of it done yet.

4a) Imagine elaborate list of people I need to buy for, gift ideas for each one, and attempting to make mental notes of such things to look for and buy, including my husband.

4b) Remembering that my mom asked for a short list for us that I need to email her and my sister. Imagine another elaborate list of things I can put on this list (which took some time and consideration since I don't shop for myself anymore) and for my husband (who shrugged his shoulders when I asked him what he wanted, so I had to research and come up with ideas myself). I emailed that list off earlier tonight, btw.

4c) Making a mental note of asking everyone else to email me a list of what they want in my family and my husband's family if there is anything they want specifically (which is only the case 50% of the time it seems).

4d) Christmas cards needing to be sent. This means I need to get a few good pictures taken of us that are recent, and order them, and most likely, send them out. I guess I can always pack them and do them in Maui while sitting on the beach, but really, that just sounds like work when I could be in the water.

4e) Wrapping paper. I'm extremely picky about my wrapping paper. I bought some at Costco yesterday and decided I needed to return it, along with a Christmas dress for Kaleigh I had bought and failed to try on. I had bought two, and we decided to keep the one from Burlington Coat Factory. At least she already has her dress!

There's a good chunk of it. All of the above plus more went into my head and was enough to jerk me wide out of my drowsy state I had been in, and left me with anxiety. Getting to sleep last night wasn't so fun.

The good news is that it was a great motivator to get my butt into gear. My focus will be solely on the above list, plus more things that I'm sure will come along.

It will be a well deserved vacation, to say the least!