So, about a week ago I got an unexpected text from my friend, Liz. Liz and I met way back in college (Go Cougs!) and have stayed in touch ever since. We both worked at Papa John's on campus, where everyone who worked there expected us to be rivals since we were so much alike. Of course, we proved everyone wrong, and buddied up instantly one night when we made a drunk guy streak up and down Greek row for a free pizza. (Ahh, college. I miss those days sometimes). At any rate, Liz and I have stayed the type of friends who can go for awhile without talking and it doesn't matter.
When Liz found out she was pregnant, I was pretty ecstatic. Motherhood has changed me immensely, and I feel like it made me a better person, and I just knew that it would probably affect Liz in a similar way to me since we were pretty similar before. I always enjoy identifying with other moms on that sort of level because it probably makes me feel less freakish. Ha.
Liz's job ended up transferring her out of state, so of course I haven't gotten to see her or her daughter, Lillian, as much as I'd like. Not even a quarter of what I'd like to. Boo!
You can only imagine my surprise when I got a random text from her letting me know that she was coming back for work and wanted to do dinner. Stoked was an understatement, as I love seeing her and wanted to see Lillian, her daughter again! We made dinner date plans immediately and I didn't hear from her for a few days until she sent me another random text... this time, it was asking if I could watch Lillian for a day from 7 AM - 6 PM. (She gave me the easy opt out saying "she knew it was probably way too much to ask...").
I thought about it:
Challenge #1: Dragging my ass out of bed before 10:00 AM. Kaleigh spoils me and sleeps in unti 10 everyday. Usually when asked to do something before 10, I decline, but if it's for a good friend, I will usually cave.
Challenge #2: Taking care of an infant who's adjusting to a different state, different climate, different time zone, and who has only met me once before.
Challenge #3: My own kiddo's reaction to having a baby in the house for an entire day, sharing my attention, and any other unforseeable reactions out of her.
Those of you that know me, know I love a good challenge, so of course, I said yes.
Liz's mom was nice enough to care for Lillian in the morning and dropped her off closer to 9 so I could sleep in a bit more. Kaleigh and I were both up by 8:30 and ready for the day.
Things couldn't have gone any better.
Right away, Lillian was greeted by kisses from my Kaleigh Bug:
Kaleigh was the best kid I could've asked for today. She sincerely welcomed Lillian into our home, gave her toys to play with, showed her how to play with things (like her stacker), was gentle, and played by herself quietly in the living room when I put Lillian down for her naps. She didn't fuss once the entire day.
Lillian was a great baby, too! She was so happy. She loved watching Kaleigh and would constantly reach out to her. I was quite impressed with how well they did together, given that neither one of them knew who the other was, and it could've been made a very awkward position for both.
I was extremely proud that I got them both to nap at the same time - Lillian went down, and Kaleigh went down 10 minutes after and they slept for an hour and a half.
Six o'clock came surprisingly fast, as both angels were smiling, giggling, and playing together like they'd known each other all their lives. I guess they're just meant to be BFF's!
Needless to say, I knew that today would be a challenge for me. I was nervous, excited, and anxious about it all week because I didn't know how things would play out. I didn't know if one kid would behave while the other one was a terror, or if both would be. I had low expectations which I think is why I'm still so surprised that it went so well.
Another thing that I knew today would teach me is whether or not we're ready for another baby. (And by "we," I mean "me"). I knew that even if Lillian was an angel and Kaleigh was an angel, it would still give me a very good idea of whether or not I'd feel up to having another, and, like I thought, I am definitely not ready for another yet. Granted, I know that if I were to get pregnant tomorrow, I'd have nine months to prepare, but I still don't think that's enough time for me personally.
Could I do it? Sure. Today taught me that Kaleigh will be an amazing older sister someday. I always knew she would be, but I didn't know if she'd understand this young (16 months) about sharing and all that fun stuff an older sibling gets to do once another baby joins the family.
Do I want to do it? Not yet. While I sat and played with both girls today, I kept feeling bad for Kaleigh since she had to share me. Even as she smiled at Lillian and shared her toys, I almost felt sad FOR her. It was a very bizarre feeling. I kept telling her what an amazing job she was doing, and how much I loved her to reassure her .
One thing about Kaleigh and myself is that I get numerous comments on is how in tune we are with eachother. Alot of people will tell me that she understands and communicates with me extremely well.
For example: I will ask her if she wants oranges, and she will say "yes" and then proceed to go get her oranges out of the diaper bag. So not only is she understanding I'm asking her a question, but she truly understands what it means. It's been like this for about a month, maybe two. I will say "Kaleigh, be careful there's a step there." She will slow down, stop at the step, and wait for me to get there, hold her hand out and say "help."
My other moms that I hang out with who have toddlers the same age comment about this at least once a week. I don't know if it's because I've always made it a point to talk to Kaleigh about everything, point and label everything, or what, but I've always felt such a strong connection to her, as I'm sure is normal for any mom. I want to be able to talk to her about a baby sister or brother, and explain what it means and know that she fully grasps what's going on. I feel like it's only fair to her to know that there is a baby growing in mommy's tummy and to share the experience of being pregnant again with her, and celebrate her role of being a big sister so she understands it.
I have felt like this for a little while, but also would have moments where I'd think that having another baby soon would be nice, so I was about 50/50 of wanting to "try" again for another.
After tonight, though, I simply am not ready.
I talked with my husband about this, who, if he had it his way, would have me be pregnant now already. Surprisingly, he agreed with no argument, which I love.
We also decided to wait until Spring to add our second story onto our house, since we won't be trying for another baby soon, which is a relief. Originally we wanted to build in September, but permits took longer than we thought, and now we'd be building in the pouring rain which could cause sheet rock damage, so we're not going to chance it.
So, all in all, today was a great day for me. I got my Lillian and Liz fix, decisions were made, and I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders because I know I'm making two right decisions for our family.
We most likely won't be "trying" for another baby until Spring at earliest, but I'd be perfectly happy with waiting until she's 2. Originally, we were thinking Winter/New Year, so I can actually rest easy now!
Good night!
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