Adoption Awareness

"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"
Author: Fleur Conkling Heylinger

November is Adoption Awareness Month. This is a huge deal to me since not only am I adopted, but I also hope to adopt one day.

My story:

I was left on a doorstep of a police station when I was a couple weeks old, maybe even a month. With me was a basic note stating my birthday and that my mother couldn't care for me (quite possibly even that she was too young to care for me, I can't be fore sure).

I was put into an orphanage, where, I was tied to my crib who I shared with other babies. At 17 months, I was moved to a foster home where I got one on one time, and, was in dire need of it. I could only sit on my own. I couldn't crawl, I couldn't walk. Couldn't do much, due to the overcrowded orphange I was in.

Now, most of you know, my little Kaleigh is 17 months. To think of all she can do, and try to imagine her not being able to do much past about 6-9 months freaks me out!

Luckily, I was a quick learner, and in the month or so I was at the foster home, I had caught up to my age developmentally.

I was adoped on June 30th. I was 18 months, 3 days.

Being adopted definitely caused some issues back in the day. I wondered why I was different, but my parents did a really good job explaining to me and always treating me the same as their biological children. I was even sent to an Adoption Camp, where I got to meet other Korean children who were adopted.

Do I ever wonder about my birth mother? Sort of. I don't need another Mom in my life. My "mom" will always be the Mom who raised me. The mom who taught me all of my values, who kissed my scrapes when I fell, who held me everytime I threw a tantrum. That's my mom. Part of me does, however, wonder about my birth mother. Not necessarily about her specifically, but I'd love to find out genetics, family history, and, most of all, just to thank her. Thank her for giving me life, for leaving me where she did, and not doing anything different, because, let's face it, the other choices aren't pretty.

I know if I had a baby and had to give her up, not a day would go by without me thinking about her. Wondering if she found a happy family, worrying I did the right thing by giving her up, etc.

Honestly, though, if I had to choose, I don't know if I'd actually meet my birth mom. Makes me feel like a total chicken shit, right? I'm not one for awkward situations and I feel like it would be mighty awkward for me....

To sum it up: I hope that everyone remembers what it is to adopt. It's giving life to a child. An adopted child isn't any less of a human being, and I hope that if any of you out there can't have anymore children naturally that you would consider it.

I'm adopted, and look how I turned out! ;)

Makin' A List.. Checkin' it Twice...

Last night started out like any other night in bed. The sound of soft snores escaping my husband's mouth, Kaleigh's steady breathing, and the low buzz of the TV provided my brain with much solace and just like that, I realized:

IT IS NOVEMBER!!!!!

I probably should've realized this, you know, on November 1st, but I have been so pre-occupied with playing single Mom that my entire body just shuts down at night lately. That being said, the good news is that my husband actually took an entire day off Sunday! The first in .... who knows how long. It was so great to have him around. Not only for my sake, but for Kaleigh's. She was all about Daddy, which, gave Mommy a semi-break, but also provided her with some much needed reassurance that yes, Daddy is still around, and will continue to be. It's not easy when your 16 month old randomly calls out for "Da Da" and having to explain that he's working. Again. Poor girl.

So, laying in bed last night, I jolted upright from laying down in the realization that it's a week into November, which means quite a few things for me/us.

The first thing that infested my head is all of the 1,000,000 things I need to get done. Which million things you ask? Let's see if I can narrow this down for you, otherwise, this blog post will be an epic portion of crap you don't want to read.

1) November means Thanksgiving. Where are we spending ours? No idea. We need to figure that out.

2) Maui - most of the 1,00,000 things I need to get done probably reciprocate around this.

2a) Packing - pulling out, choosing the clothing, and washing our summer clothing for myself, my husband, and my child. Needing to try some things on Kaleigh as she's grown since summer time... wonder if a good majority of her stuff still fits? Hope so... Which toys to bring. Buying little "prizes" for her to get while we're on the plane (most likely from the Dollar store or the dollar bins at Target). Should we bring her little portable potty seat? Where are our suitcases?

2b) Need to get the dogs in for their Bordatella vaccines so the kennel doesn't deny them the night before we're supposed to leave....

2c) Need to call the airlines to find out about their little media centers you can rent or just break down and possibly buy a portable DVD player. I wonder if I can find one cheaper at a pawn shop or if someone has one I can borrow? Maybe Craigslist?

3) My niece's birthday - of couse, is on 11/23. She will be 4. I already bought her presents, but need wrapping paper for them, or a gift bag. Must go buy soon.

4) Christmas - need to get more shopping done. Originally, my goal was to have all of my shopping done before we left. That quickly went out the window, as it's November 7th (technically November 8th now), and I don't even have half of it done yet.

4a) Imagine elaborate list of people I need to buy for, gift ideas for each one, and attempting to make mental notes of such things to look for and buy, including my husband.

4b) Remembering that my mom asked for a short list for us that I need to email her and my sister. Imagine another elaborate list of things I can put on this list (which took some time and consideration since I don't shop for myself anymore) and for my husband (who shrugged his shoulders when I asked him what he wanted, so I had to research and come up with ideas myself). I emailed that list off earlier tonight, btw.

4c) Making a mental note of asking everyone else to email me a list of what they want in my family and my husband's family if there is anything they want specifically (which is only the case 50% of the time it seems).

4d) Christmas cards needing to be sent. This means I need to get a few good pictures taken of us that are recent, and order them, and most likely, send them out. I guess I can always pack them and do them in Maui while sitting on the beach, but really, that just sounds like work when I could be in the water.

4e) Wrapping paper. I'm extremely picky about my wrapping paper. I bought some at Costco yesterday and decided I needed to return it, along with a Christmas dress for Kaleigh I had bought and failed to try on. I had bought two, and we decided to keep the one from Burlington Coat Factory. At least she already has her dress!

There's a good chunk of it. All of the above plus more went into my head and was enough to jerk me wide out of my drowsy state I had been in, and left me with anxiety. Getting to sleep last night wasn't so fun.

The good news is that it was a great motivator to get my butt into gear. My focus will be solely on the above list, plus more things that I'm sure will come along.

It will be a well deserved vacation, to say the least!

Happy Halloweekend!

It's officially Halloweekend 2011.

WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?!

Here's the long awaited costume we decided to get for Kaleigh:

Our little leopard got runner up on Friday night at The Little Gym party! I was humbled and surprised, as I didn't even know there was a costume contest going on! I will post better pictures later.

Daddy is still working A TON, so it's just been Kaleigh and me lately. We haven't even carved her pumpkin yet. I am hoping that Daddy can be home when we do this, but that may be wishful thinking.

That being said, I've been constantly reminding myself of how lucky I am to have such an amazing kid. By amazing, I mean mellow, happy-go-lucky, obedient, and easy. I know moms who can't wait until the kids are in bed, until their mom's night out, and need to get away. I am the exact opposite so far. I love spending every moment with Kaleigh, probably in fear of missing out on something. A word, a milestone, something major that she does for the first time. She is definitely my bestest buddy, and I honestly prefer her over most adults that I know.

Which brings me to my next subject. My daughter seriously amazes me.

On Friday, at the Little Gym party, she colored her first picture with markers (of course I kept it), stuck a ghost sticker on it, and beamed with pleasure as she handed it to me. We walked into the activity room, and her first stop was a station where you are supposed to walk with a spoon while balancing a plastic egg in the spoon. To my surprise, she did it on her first try, took the egg off, and walked right over to the basket of the eggs and plopped the egg in the basket where it belonged, gave the spoon back to the teacher standing there with her mouth wide open, and proceeded to clap when she was done. She got play-doh as a prize. Second station was the little balance beam which she absolutely loved. I held her hand (as she asked for "help" each time), and walked it probably about a dozen times. Third station was a "pin the lips on the frog" fabric game which she placed the lips right where they were supposed to go. She even walked over to the high balance beam and had the teacher help her walk it! And, of course, she walked the "cat walk" consisting of high mats for the costume contest twice for the "judges" and about a half dozen times on her own. Needless to say, she was exhausted by the end of the night! Daddy met us for Mongolian Grill dinner and she passed out shortly after.

She is still using her potty, and I am happy to report that I haven't changed a #2 diaper since we brought the potty home. Tonight, for the first time, she walked into the bathroom herself and sat down on the potty. (Usually I ask if she wants to go sit on the potty and she says "Yes" or "No," though I've only gotten two "Nos" so far). I asked if she had to go and she said "Yes." I had to go get my phone (sometimes I play videos for her to watch to help her relax), and she followed me bare and ended up going on the floor. The good news is that she recognized she had to go and went to the potty to do so. Baby steps, my friends! I am extremely proud of her.

Usually while we're on the potty, we'll read potty books, or books in general since my child is a huge book worm if she's having trouble focusing. She loves her "ABC" books, and now will point to objects that I tell her to find. She also can tell me what sound a cow makes, a dog makes, and sometimes if I'm lucky, a duck's "quack" can quietly be heard escaping her mouth.

It seriously blows my mind that Kaleigh used to just lay there. When she was first born, she slept more than she was awake since she was a preemie, and because, that's what newborns do.

She is now this little "person." I often refer to her as a baby still, which, of course she isn't. She's definitely a toddler. A walking, talking, dancing, singing, playful toddler.

I just cannot believe how fast she seems to be growing up and changing everyday.

And I cannot wait to see what's in store for our future!

Once Upon A Potty

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I had a chat about getting Kaleigh a potty.

While she is a tad young than most who start potty training, she's shown great interest in the potty and has taken to squatting when she goes. She's also into mocking us, so we figured that when we go, she can at least sit on it and get the idea if she wishes.

I have read various posts from other moms about suggestions on potties, why certain ones are better than others, etc. I always thought I'd want to get one that would sit directly onto our toilet, as that's what the little girl used that I nannied. It's amazing at what a different ball game it is when it's YOUR child.

I decided that since my child is really into mimicking, that she needed her own potty. I didn't want something big and bulky, and I wanted something semi practical. I found this potty at Fred Meyer, which, immediately, won me over:

This potty is a potty, a step stool, and the potty part comes out and sits in the big potty. It also has a motion sensor that plays music when she goes. For $24, we're getting 3 things, 2 of which will definitely be used. WIN!

I picked it up today, and Kaleigh was super excited about it when I set it up in the bathroom. She immediately sat on it, and since she needed a diaper change anyways, I let her sit bare on it.

A few hours later, she needed another diaper change, so I took her in and we both sat on the potties which she thought was just great. Clapping and smiles were exchanged for about 5 minutes.

Tonight, as we were getting ready to head into the bathroom to brush our teeth, I caught her squatting trying to go #2. I quickly picked her up and told her we were going to the potty, took her diaper off, and sat her down. She laughed at me since I was also sitting on the big potty, and I wasn't sure she had to go anymore. My daughter makes the most obvious face when she goes, so on improv, I made the face she does. Immediately, she mocked me, but it worked!

She stood up and a her first little poo hit the floor (which I thought was funny, even though I should've been grossed out probably. I guess after 16 months of changing diapers, nothing phases you anymore in that department). I clapped so she knew that going was a good thing, and she sat back down and promptly went on the actual potty, both #1 and #2! I didn't know if she'd gone when she stood up because the music hadn't gone off, so I was very surprised when I saw. I clapped and sang and hugged her, and showed her, and immediately she did not like what she'd done. She pointed and made a whining noise. Why? Because it's dirty and my child is the most dainty kid you will ever meet. Again, I had to fight back laughter, as I told her it was okay, and cleaned it out. I realized the reason the music hadn't gone off was because earlier, to test the motion sensor I'd filled it up with some water. I think it absorbed when she went. After it was clean, I made the music go off and I showed her it was all clean and better. It was then that she clapped and was all smiles.

I still cannot believe my child went on the first day. I was hoping I could get her to go PEE on the potty in the next month....

I am hoping that we can continue to have positive experiences with the potty. I am in no way wanting to rush her, but am super excited for what lays ahead. Who knew potty training could be so amusing?!

Today Was A Good Day!

So, about a week ago I got an unexpected text from my friend, Liz. Liz and I met way back in college (Go Cougs!) and have stayed in touch ever since. We both worked at Papa John's on campus, where everyone who worked there expected us to be rivals since we were so much alike. Of course, we proved everyone wrong, and buddied up instantly one night when we made a drunk guy streak up and down Greek row for a free pizza. (Ahh, college. I miss those days sometimes). At any rate, Liz and I have stayed the type of friends who can go for awhile without talking and it doesn't matter.

When Liz found out she was pregnant, I was pretty ecstatic. Motherhood has changed me immensely, and I feel like it made me a better person, and I just knew that it would probably affect Liz in a similar way to me since we were pretty similar before. I always enjoy identifying with other moms on that sort of level because it probably makes me feel less freakish. Ha.

Liz's job ended up transferring her out of state, so of course I haven't gotten to see her or her daughter, Lillian, as much as I'd like. Not even a quarter of what I'd like to. Boo!

You can only imagine my surprise when I got a random text from her letting me know that she was coming back for work and wanted to do dinner. Stoked was an understatement, as I love seeing her and wanted to see Lillian, her daughter again! We made dinner date plans immediately and I didn't hear from her for a few days until she sent me another random text... this time, it was asking if I could watch Lillian for a day from 7 AM - 6 PM. (She gave me the easy opt out saying "she knew it was probably way too much to ask...").

I thought about it:

Challenge #1: Dragging my ass out of bed before 10:00 AM. Kaleigh spoils me and sleeps in unti 10 everyday. Usually when asked to do something before 10, I decline, but if it's for a good friend, I will usually cave.

Challenge #2: Taking care of an infant who's adjusting to a different state, different climate, different time zone, and who has only met me once before.

Challenge #3: My own kiddo's reaction to having a baby in the house for an entire day, sharing my attention, and any other unforseeable reactions out of her.

Those of you that know me, know I love a good challenge, so of course, I said yes.

Liz's mom was nice enough to care for Lillian in the morning and dropped her off closer to 9 so I could sleep in a bit more. Kaleigh and I were both up by 8:30 and ready for the day.

Things couldn't have gone any better.

Right away, Lillian was greeted by kisses from my Kaleigh Bug:

Kaleigh was the best kid I could've asked for today. She sincerely welcomed Lillian into our home, gave her toys to play with, showed her how to play with things (like her stacker), was gentle, and played by herself quietly in the living room when I put Lillian down for her naps. She didn't fuss once the entire day.

Lillian was a great baby, too! She was so happy. She loved watching Kaleigh and would constantly reach out to her. I was quite impressed with how well they did together, given that neither one of them knew who the other was, and it could've been made a very awkward position for both.

I was extremely proud that I got them both to nap at the same time - Lillian went down, and Kaleigh went down 10 minutes after and they slept for an hour and a half.

Six o'clock came surprisingly fast, as both angels were smiling, giggling, and playing together like they'd known each other all their lives. I guess they're just meant to be BFF's!

Needless to say, I knew that today would be a challenge for me. I was nervous, excited, and anxious about it all week because I didn't know how things would play out. I didn't know if one kid would behave while the other one was a terror, or if both would be. I had low expectations which I think is why I'm still so surprised that it went so well.

Another thing that I knew today would teach me is whether or not we're ready for another baby. (And by "we," I mean "me"). I knew that even if Lillian was an angel and Kaleigh was an angel, it would still give me a very good idea of whether or not I'd feel up to having another, and, like I thought, I am definitely not ready for another yet. Granted, I know that if I were to get pregnant tomorrow, I'd have nine months to prepare, but I still don't think that's enough time for me personally.

Could I do it? Sure. Today taught me that Kaleigh will be an amazing older sister someday. I always knew she would be, but I didn't know if she'd understand this young (16 months) about sharing and all that fun stuff an older sibling gets to do once another baby joins the family.

Do I want to do it? Not yet. While I sat and played with both girls today, I kept feeling bad for Kaleigh since she had to share me. Even as she smiled at Lillian and shared her toys, I almost felt sad FOR her. It was a very bizarre feeling. I kept telling her what an amazing job she was doing, and how much I loved her to reassure her .

One thing about Kaleigh and myself is that I get numerous comments on is how in tune we are with eachother. Alot of people will tell me that she understands and communicates with me extremely well.

For example: I will ask her if she wants oranges, and she will say "yes" and then proceed to go get her oranges out of the diaper bag. So not only is she understanding I'm asking her a question, but she truly understands what it means. It's been like this for about a month, maybe two. I will say "Kaleigh, be careful there's a step there." She will slow down, stop at the step, and wait for me to get there, hold her hand out and say "help."

My other moms that I hang out with who have toddlers the same age comment about this at least once a week. I don't know if it's because I've always made it a point to talk to Kaleigh about everything, point and label everything, or what, but I've always felt such a strong connection to her, as I'm sure is normal for any mom. I want to be able to talk to her about a baby sister or brother, and explain what it means and know that she fully grasps what's going on. I feel like it's only fair to her to know that there is a baby growing in mommy's tummy and to share the experience of being pregnant again with her, and celebrate her role of being a big sister so she understands it.

I have felt like this for a little while, but also would have moments where I'd think that having another baby soon would be nice, so I was about 50/50 of wanting to "try" again for another.

After tonight, though, I simply am not ready.

I talked with my husband about this, who, if he had it his way, would have me be pregnant now already. Surprisingly, he agreed with no argument, which I love.

We also decided to wait until Spring to add our second story onto our house, since we won't be trying for another baby soon, which is a relief. Originally we wanted to build in September, but permits took longer than we thought, and now we'd be building in the pouring rain which could cause sheet rock damage, so we're not going to chance it.

So, all in all, today was a great day for me. I got my Lillian and Liz fix, decisions were made, and I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders because I know I'm making two right decisions for our family.

We most likely won't be "trying" for another baby until Spring at earliest, but I'd be perfectly happy with waiting until she's 2. Originally, we were thinking Winter/New Year, so I can actually rest easy now!

Good night!

One Moment in Time

"One Moment In Time"

by Whitney Houston

Each day I live
I want to be
A day to give
The best of me
I'm only one
But not alone
My finest day
Is yet unknown

I broke my heart
Fought every gain
To taste the sweet
I face the pain
I rise and fall
Yet through it all
This much remains

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

I've lived to be
The very best
I want it all
No time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be
I will be
I will be free
I will be
I will be free

*****

Today I had a "moment in time."

It wasn't a special day, either. We met a group of gals and their kids up at Everett Children's Museum at 11:30, so we were a bit rushed this morning, but it was well worth it.

At 1:30, three of the other gals had to leave because their kids were having melt downs. Kaleigh and I stayed behind with our friend, Leanne, and her son, Benjamin.

Some background: Leanne and I met on a random Sunday afternoon at Costco, of all places. We had just left church and went to Costco to grab some groceries and some quick lunch. I sat down and struck up a conversation with the gal sitting next to me because her husband had made a comment about how he couldn't believe she could hold a baby and eat at the same time. We talked quite a bit and swapped numbers. Thinking nothing of it, she asked for a playdate. We were pretty busy, so it took a couple of months, but now we see them at least once a week. They'll probably make another cameo in this blog!

Back to our day: We left at 2:30 and I assumed Kaleigh would fall asleep on the car ride home. She'd just eaten a snack of pears and oranges, and had been walking all morning. Well, she didn't. I was starving since I'd just packed food for her (of course!), so I decided to drive thru somewhere. Taco Bell was right off the exit and had food for Kaleigh, too, so I ordered a quesadilla and a side of rice and beans for Kaleigh, wondering if she was still hungry. We ate in the car in the parking lot - I sat in back next to her, and she wanted NOTHING to do with the rice and beans. I tried the rice and it was pretty heavily seasoned with refried beans in it, so I hucked it (Good thing it was only $0.99!) She ended up sharing my quesadilla with me, and stayed awake for the rest of the drive home.

We had a quiet afternoon at home - she went down for a nap and then Daddy came home. We all ate dinner, and Daddy had paperwork to do, so Kaleigh and I left since I had to go get her milk at the grocery store. We ended up at the mall first because my sister had sent me a text saying she'd been there earlier that day and they had a big display of Cars (from the movie) and bags of freebies for little kids there.

I let Kaleigh out of her stroller and she walked up to the cars and got her picture taken. We then walked back and she did such a good job following me. She's never walked around the mall before, and only a couple of times at Target in a deserted part of the store, so I was quite surprised she did so well with listening. We stopped in the Disney store and she walked around in awe looking at all of the sparkling dresses, shoes (which she's particularly fond of), and stuffed animals. I was in heaven watching the look of magic and wonder on my daughter's face in there. She put everything back that she took out when asked, and stayed with me the whole time. I swear, I could've lived in that moment for three days and been incredibly happy with it.

I realized while watching her that she's growing up. That time's going by so fast, and that the love I feel for her runs so deep in my veins that they could burst. Granted, I'm aware that I love her everyday, but it was moments like these that take my breath away about being a Mommy.

So I sit here blogging about it because I don't want to forget. I know that someday I'll look back on this blog and remember, but hopefully I'll remember the actual feeling, and how intense it is, and how the words just don't begin to describe how much I loved being with Kaleigh at the mall and watching her tonight.

I can't wait to have more moments like that in my life with her - but it makes me sad because the moments that come like this means that she's growing and changing. I love it, but I hate it.

Bittersweet.

Our Weekend

Friday was a good day.

Kaleigh and I went to the zoo, and met a couple of friends and their kids. At first it wast just Kaleigh and me, and we got to see a few of the animals. She was out of her stroller 100% of the time, as she loves walking on the paths at the zoo. It was pretty dead, since it was gray and a little wet from rain the previous night, but Kaleigh and I love the outdoors as long as it isn't raining, so it didn't stop us. The paths are paved, and it's perfect for her to practice her uphill and down hill walking without it being too steep. She can't get far without me being able to see her, and she loves looking at the exhibits by herself. Here she is walking along one of the paths:

Our friends got there and we headed to the "Zoomasium" which is an indoor area to play. It was perfect since my girlfriend sprained her ankle and was in a walking boot. We let the kids play, and then decided to get some lunch. Nothing sounded too appealing, but I ordered the chicken strips and fries. We then called it a day because all of the kiddos were getting tired. Friday night, Daddy was home at a decent time so we went out to Thai food. Kaleigh loved the yellow curry and Pad Thai, which was new to her. She'd only had pieces of the yellow curry before since Pad Thai has the peanut sauce in it. She even used her chopsticks to eat, which I thought was super cute.




Friday night was terrible. We crawled into bed about 11 PM, and I was feeling super sick to my stomach. Brian and Kaleigh were both fine, so I had assumed it was the food from the zoo. I woke up 2:30 and was up sicker than I've ever been since being pregnant. I finally crawled back into bed at 4:15, only to have Kaleigh wake up. I was up with her until about 5:30, and then she woke up again at 8:00 for her bottle. Thankfully, she went back to sleep, but by this time my body was physically aching from the vomiting and lack of sleep. Not a feeling I ever want to have again.

By the time I rolled out of bed, it was about 11:30. Daddy was at work, and Kaleigh and I were scheduled to be at a birthday party out in Lake Stevens at 2:00. I ate a granola bar and had a cup of water, and fed my kiddo, and felt ok. I had a tough time distinguishing between being deliriously tired vs nauseatingly sick. (This just reminds me of how spoiled I have been and still am by such a good sleeping baby, btw). I made the choice to go, since I felt ok, so we got dressed and went. We hung out until about 4 when I started feeling sick again. My husband was at home, so thankfully, he was dying to play with Kaleigh and I was dying to lay down, so it was a win-win for everyone. I laid down on the couch and played at much as I could while laying down. Kaleigh kept bringing me books to show me pictures and then back to Daddy. She was thrilled to have us both there.

Friday night I didn't feel like cooking, obviously, and was still feeling sick so we went to get Pho. I choked down about half a bowl before being both full and feeling sick again.

We crawled into bed super early in hopes that I could sleep off my sickness since I was going to be super bummed if Sunday was spent with me laying around.



Today is Sunday and was Daddy's first day off in at least 3 weeks, maybe 4 - (you kind of lose track after 2 weeks in our household).


Kaleigh must've known it, because, like the darling that she is, she slept in until 11 AM. Granted, she woke up for a bottle at 8, but went back down and let us all sleep. Brian and I got 12 hours of glorious sleep. Major pro, but the major con that goes along with it is that we were so tired when we woke up, we weren't sure if we felt refreshed or not. I woke up feeling fine, which was such a relief!

Our beloved Hawks pulled off an outstanding win against the NY Giants, which made for great entertainment at our house. Kaleigh and Daddy watched football and played dolls while Mommy listened to the game in the kitchen and made scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast. Both of my loves scarfed their breakfasts down, and we decided to head to Craven Farm pumpkin patch in Snohomish after the game.

Of course, once we got out there, Brian decided he was hungry so we stopped at Taco Time, which is our to choice for drive thru since their menu is slightly better for you. I got a taco salad, Brian got the enchilada platter, and we ordered a side of rice mixed with black beans for Kaleigh which she LOVED. We then decided to get gas since our light was on and cash for pumpkins and corn maze and all.

Finally, we arrived. Kaleigh was unsure at first - when we entered, there was a common area with small pumpkins and produce, and she watched. We picked her up and headed to the pumpkin patch where, again, she was unsure. She really didn't know what to make of the dirt and the vines and roots all over the ground. We pointed out a couple of small pumpkins her size, where she grew some courage and actually touched them. Now, any other kid would probably be running around excited as all get out at this point. Not our child. She was more concerned with the dirt on her hands after she had fallen and gotten back up. So dainty and cute! I had to tell her it was ok about 10 times before she finally seemed to forget about trying to wipe her hands off.

We gave her a super small pumpkin which she held for about one nano-second before she set it down. She wouldn't hold a pumpkin to save her life today!

To get to the bigger pumpkins, you had to walk through some corn. Daddy picked Kaleigh up and jumped into the corn which she immediately hated. She started to fuss, which I probably couldn't blame her for. Being picked up and surrounded by tall, green, fuzzy stuff would freak me out, too.

Finally we found the pathway where there was a path and Kaleigh walked through it holding Daddy's hand. She even touched the corn stalks.

We looked at all of the big pumpkins, and she proceeded to sit on just about every single flat pumpkin that was available for her little bum to fit on.











We let her play in the children's play area quite awhile. She got to steer a pirate ship, sit in a canoe, drive a tractor, and stand in a teepee to name a few things. She also got to see some of the farm animals.

After about an hour and a half, we decided to call it a day. We didn't have a wheel barrow so we nixed the pumpkins since we're going to another pumpkin patch next weekend with my whole family.

We went grocery shopping and came home, where I made pumpkin pancakes by request for Brian and Kaleigh. I'm not a fan of pumpkin and my stomach was starting to feel queasy again, so I opted out of any type of pancake. Kaleigh hadn't tried pumpkin since she was pretty young, and it was pureed in a mix of jar baby food, so I was excited to see her reaction. She LOVED the pumpkin pancakes - and she even ate them with her Elmo fork!



As promised to my husband, I made pumpkin cupcakes with pumpkin spiced cream cheese frosting and they turned out fabulous! My only compaint is that the frosting wasn't as thick as I'd like. I even tried a bite and was impressed - and I don't like pumpkin whatsoever.



For dinner, yours truly ate Pho leftovers from last night.

Our night ended with watching "The Good Wife" on TV before crawling into bed. My household is now quiet and I'm the only one awake, as it always is at the end of my night.

I kind of like it that way...

I still feel queasy. Nothing like Friday night, but it's there... I'm starting to worry I have some sort of bug or something and am crossing my fingers that my household doesn't get sick!

Will keep you all updated...

Doctor, Daddy, and Dinner

MY. LITTLE. GIRL. IS. ALMOST. 16. MONTHS??!!

That's been my thought these last few weeks, but it's gotten louder as the days have grown closer to the 11th (which is when her monthly birthday is).

Today was Kaleigh's 15 month appointment. Can you tell that I've been avoiding it? The girl is almost 16 months and I finally called in on Monday to make the appointment. I hate her appointments. I get anxiety the night before, and dread going in because she's going to get shots and cry. I hate when my little Bug cries. Sometimes I think it's harder on me than it is on her. Brian used to come with me until she turned 1, then he said I was on my own. Damn him.

So my kiddo is 32 5/8" long and weighed 26.6 lbs. HOLY NUTS. She grew over an inch in 3 months. She was 31.5" at her 1 year (which also was almost a month behind. Do you see a pattern here?)

She got her Vericella vaccine for Chicken Pox and the flu shot, which I was on the fence about, but decided to do. Brian and I also need to go get ours this weekend. When the nurse brought her shots in, she saw them and started crying right away. This means she's now old enough to remember and know the pain is coming, which made me super sad. She cried when they finally gave her the shots, and of course, had gone #2 in her diaper right before (literally scared the sh*t out of her, I guess), so she was double pissed from being poked and then having her diaper changed right after. Poor girl. I held her after and she calmed down. I decided to stay until she was ok because I didn't want to leave the doctor's office on a bad vibe. I don't want her to be "that kid" who screams at the mention of the doctor or when you walk in the door. So I held her and waited. When I asked if she was ok and she responded with a nod of her head and a sniffly "yeah," we walked out to find the nurse. I explained to Kaleigh that the nurse wasn't going to do that everytime, and that she was a friend. Kaleigh was fine with this, and proceeded to blow her a few kisses which made my day. The nurse gave her a couple of stickers and all was good!

We then went for ice cream afterwards since she was such a good girl. I got a single scoop of vanilla and shared with my kiddo, and it was a lovely Mother/Daughter time, though we've been having plenty of that!

Lately I've been having to play single mom. My husband owns his own company and has been working 15 hour (at the minimum) days for going on 2 weeks straight. NO JOKE. Kaleigh and I have been bringing him homemade dinners or having a quick lunch together so that they can see eachother.

So, tonight, when my husband finally made it home at a decent hour, Kaleigh and I, of course, weren't there. We were watching her cousin, Jack, like we do every Thursday. When we got home and she saw Daddy, she was more excited than I've ever seen her. It was almost magical. The best part is that she got her first real baby doll from Grams (my mom), complete with a change of clothes, a diaper, a bottle, a sippy cup, and her own bowl/silverware. Guess what Kaleigh and Daddy did while Mommy made dinner?! The greatest thing about this was that Brian was geniuinely excited to be playing with her, even if it meant dressing her Baby up in pink and making it "goo goo" and "ga ga" as he fed her from her little plastic bottle.

I loved having a family dinner at home again. Even though I hate where I live, it's times like these that makes me realize what's truly important, and it reminds me of how truly blessed I am.

Costume Schmostume

I'm looking at my clock. It reads 12:55 AM.

This means two things of utmost importance.

#1) It's officially October!

I love Autumn - the leaves change color, the crisp, cold air, and even the rainy Seattle weather is all a sign that "the holidays" are coming.

#2) Christmas is coming. REALLY SOON!

Giggity Giggity. My favorite Holiday season. EVER.

Anywhoo...

First thing's first. I decided to nix on re-writing my blog from last night. All it does is irritate me that I'm re-writing, so after the hubs and I talk about it again, I'll re-write my post when there's new, fresh material bouncing around in my brain (that wasn't so previously typed, then deleted). Makes for a much better mood for yours truly that way.

Secondly, I'm really stumped on Halloween costumes this year. The irony of this is that I've actually bought Kaleigh two costumes already and taken both back.

The first was a Monkey, but after much consideration, I decided she looked like a boy. I WILL NOT have my child be mistaken for a boy. Ever. For those of you that know me, you know my child is always dolled up. For those of you that don't know me, let me explain: My child was the baby who wore the obnoxiously large flowered headbands on her head since about the time she was born. She had one in every color, and is also known for her stylish hats. She currently wears either a bow in her hair now or pig tails that stick up straight like antennas (makes for better reception). She wears pink and purple and everything always matches. She is a girly-girl, most definitely. So, you can imagine the horror in my head as I realized that she would probably get called a boy, so I took that costume back.

The second costume I can't disclose because I still may go back and buy it. Let me tell you, though, that it is an AWESOME costume. Very unique and very well done. The pros list for this one was endless. I loved the colors, the costume itself (how it was made and the quality), the costume for what it was (like I said, a unique idea that most likely won't be alot of this year), and Kaleigh could potentially play in it for the couple years to come. The cons, though, were enough for me to take the costume back and think about it since I bought it so early. The thing cost me $67 after taxes, which, in my opinion, is pretty outrageous for a costume. I partially justified it to myself though by saying that she could play dress up in it later on, so hopefully it would serve more than just for one day of wear. The second big con was that I have no idea what my husband would be, as this costume would be Mama _______ and Baby ______, but husband would not dress up as this, nor would he want to even if there was a costume for a male. We dressed up as a family last year because we went to a party after, so we are having a tough time deciding on whether or not we're going anywhere worth dressing up for this year. We have some great ideas, but nothing has clicked in my head so far like it did last year.

Here we are as a Beekeeper, Mama Bee, and Baby Bee in 2010!

We got so many compliments last year and even had random people stop to take our pictures when we took Kaleigh downtown Edmonds for trick-or-treating. The con to having such great costumes last year, though, is that now we feel the need to do something just as clever and fun this year. *sigh*

My husband has been working so many days/hours that we haven't had a chance to discuss it much, but we're hoping things will calm down in a week. He's working all weekend, and yesterday he didn't even get to see us. He was up before we were (which isn't hard since we sleep in until 10 AM), and got home after we'd fallen asleep. I ended up waking up when he crawled into bed, but Kaleigh was still passed out.

Maybe once we get our lovely butts to an actual Halloween costume store we'll see something, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I've researched online, on ebay, on craigslist, and yahoo answers for ideas and nothing seems to jump at me.



And so .. the search continues. Will keep you updated!

Have suggestions? Please share!

Eff Words!

I just wrote out this monstrous post ranting about my husband's and my conversation(s) about another baby, and POOF! Gone. Deleted.

Eff Words.

Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.

Keepin' It Real

One of my Favorites:

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
...
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

-The Velveteen Rabbit

Okay, so, as previously stated AND promised: I am going to start blogging. I'm not even sure how to navigate blogspot yet, so, hang in there while I try to get my ish together.

Moving right along... the insert I shared with you above was especially chosen for my blogging debut after much thought and consideration. I chose it because it describes me perfectly right now.

I am going to be 31 years old in December. THIRTY ONE YEARS OLD. I no longer am in my twenties. I have to check the second box for an age bracket. If I wanted to, I could technically drive a mini van and get away with it. WOW. When did this happen?!

I remember so much as if it were yesterday - my first apartment, college (Go Cougs!), getting my first "real" job .... and now here I am.

You know when you're younger and you picture yourself in the future? Married. Kids. White picket fenced yard with house. Dog. Cat. Etc. I'm like any girl - I always had those dreams.. the "someday" dreams. But to think I'm actually here and that I've arrived is a total trip.

So I guess I chose the above insert because I'm becoming "real." Growing older, being married, and becoming a Mom (especially becoming a Mom), has really helped me on my journey to "becoming real."

I emphasize becoming a Mom, because, quite honestly, becoming a Mom has probably been the most amazing journey of my life. There are a very close second and third place journeys in there, but having a child is definitely at the top for me.

The irony is there was a time in my life where I really didn't know if I wanted kids, and was very on the fence about it. I guess He had other plans for me, and I was blessed with my little miracle, Kaleigh, who is now 15 months old. She's walking, talking, and is my favoritest little pal around. I love her more than words could ever even begin to describe.

My husband absolutely adores her, too. He wants another. Like now. Ha! So far I'm winning that battle, but don't know how long it will be until I surrender.

We're doing an addition on our house - we're adding an entire second story onto our rambler. Yes, we're crazy! We're doing it for two reasons:

1) Our house isn't very big at the moment, as it was my husband's before we got married. He waited too long to sell and the market fell, so not only is he upside down, but he's in a shitty loan to boot.

2) That being said, we're needing more space and to bring the value up.

Our goal is to be able to refinance once the addition is done. Wish us luck...

Now you know a bit what's going on with us. We live a crazy, wonderful life that I wouldn't change for the world.

So .. follow me if you dare on the journey of life and becoming "real!"

You Win

I've finally given in to blogging.

To Be Continued...